Currently I'm working part-time for my friend.
When reading that first phrase some of you might have some kind of eye-twitching going on thinking "Why on earth are you working for your friend? Don't you know that that's a big No-No?”
I actually do know that that's a big No-No, which therefore makes me an even bigger bobo.
But that's not what today's post is about.
I promised my friend to help her organize her English school by setting the foundation straight and creating a hybrid teacher-manager position someone could later take over and complete when I think it is okay to let go. It took us a couple of months but finally we were ready to conduct a number of interviews to hire that person.
Overall, we met a lot of decent, sweet, hardworking people but no one topped Hannah.
She is one of those people who have a stable core, are overall content with themselves, know who they are, what they like, and what they don't like, and for that reason alone, in some twisted way, you feel good around them.
After talking to Hannah for ten minutes the thought "Please, let's be friends!" hijacked my mind. I must have looked like a little puppy with its tongue out when chasing its favorite toy but I managed to calm myself down.
She gets off on a tangent quite often but she tells stories so well. She adds a lot of meaningful pauses while giving you a funny look in between and although she uses her face and hands a lot to express herself you don't feel exhausted or annoyed by her like you do with some people. I guess it’s because she does it in a classy Katherine Hepburn-way.
If she knew she'd strangle me for this but in some mysterious way that "pausing-and-giving-a-funny-look-thing" she does reminds me slightly of a female, quite attractive version of Bill Nigh in "Love Actually" who sings "All You Need Is Love" as a Christmas song. He cracks me up in that movie.
Hannah just blew us away with her positive, energetic, witty way and since she had everything we needed for the position, my friend and I knew that we have to get her for her school.
I'm sure you have met people in your life who inspire you to be a better version of yourself. It's their presence. They are so in tune with themselves that that energy seems to catch up with you. They are people who get a long with everyone and everyone loves them. You want to be around them not because they trick you into it but because they love and accept themselves the way they are, and I mean that in a positive and healthy way. Their happiness is within and you can feel and see that. There is nothing more attractive than that.
I went home that day and I naturally wanted to be a better version of myself. I had left work really late and I was hungry like hell, which meant that going home and cooking something was not an option anymore. I felt like Terminator looking for Sarah Connor.
It turned out that my husband was also late and starving. We decided to meet up in front of our house.
Normally I would ask him to come up with a suggestion for where to eat out because I am too hungry to think straight. He would know from my voice that if he didn't provide a plan within the next 5 seconds I would eat him alive.
But not that night! That night I managed to laugh about us standing on the crossroad like two stoned chickens who have no idea what to do next. I treated my husband like I wanted to be treated as well in that moment – with respect, understanding, and humor - and I believe it was because I felt inspired by Hannah. ...
Obviously we offered her the job and she accepted.
When my friend and I met up with her a second time I was excited to see her again but after the meeting I felt that something in me had changed.
I ended up doing something I do very often. I started to compare myself to Hannah.
As Theodore Roosevelt rightly said: “Comparison is the thief of joy”.
There is nothing worse you can do to yourself than to compare yourself to someone. You will always do it in a way that puts you down. And, oh boy, am I good at that!
Luckily, I caught my thoughts and actively observed how they made me feel small, unloved, and misunderstood. That way I could handle my emotions better. I was sitting right in those emotions, like they were a cloud of pillows in a Pasha’s harem.
What I needed though were instructions on how to get myself out of those emotions. I came across an article, which helped me find a direction.
It always comes down to liking yourself, being kind to yourself, and shifting your focus on yourself because everyone has a unique story, a unique personality that can’t be compared to anyone else’s.
I need to learn how to appreciate what I have achieved in my life so far and measure all that by my own standards.
I keep telling myself, the only way to feel a step closer to happiness is by becoming aware of certain moments and turning them around. Like when I have a hard time accepting a simple compliment from someone and then I would need to remind myself to embrace that compliment without any “but” and with all my heart. I believe that’s the only way to not choke under that cloud of pillows of emotions.
Hannah is an inspiration and I’m grateful for being able to see that.