This morning I woke up to a voice-recording message on WhatsApp from one of my dear friends.
It was a 22-minute-7-second- message and I honestly don’t know how she kept her finger that long on the recording button but let me assure you that it is one of the best ways to start a day.
Just hearing my friend’s voice while still being morning-dozy felt like she was there; as if she had stayed over at our place, had made herself some coffee in the morning and had brought me some to my bed to wake me up with it. While listening to her I could almost picture her having made herself comfortable on the armchair next to me using one of the puffy pillows as an armrest.
In her message she told me that she had found the time to read through some of my posts. The one about my dark side and the depression seems to have occupied her mind the most. She explained that she could relate to situations in which social media like facebook manages to suck us into the “happy” world of a “friend”, only to spit us out again like a an old gum while leaving us with nothing but the bitter taste of envy.
In moments like that most of us tend to compare ourselves, which (as I wrote in another post) ultimately puts us in a dull, sad, frustrated, or even hopeless mood.
The central message of my friends recording though was to evoke all the achievements - small and big ones - in my life, and all personality traits that define me and make me important to her as a friend.
It was an “embrace yourself for who you are and what you have achieved” message to cheer me, and show how much she cared for me.
While my friend was pointing out how she - the way she put it - admires the way I cherish friendships by little gestures like sending a tiny summer gift out of the blue, some comments of hers suggested how she wished to BE more and maybe live a different life. …
Improperly, the thought made me giggle. What irony! :-)
It dawned on me that she could see things in others but couldn’t see the same great traits in herself.
Just like me!
Just like most of us!!
She can’t see how much fun it is to listen to her. She has a very specific way to use the German language by juggling with idioms, mixing in her dialect, taking a person on a visual tour through her daily life with her vivid explanations … It’s quite a feast of words. (Although she can go off on a tangent and make you wonder when you’ll have a chance to throw in a sentence.)
She can’t see how she can turn routinized parts of everday life into something special by making the most of what she has to hand. She definitely knows how to perform magic when decorating the breakfast table when all she is equipped with is a scarce set of cutlery and dishes and a few boring ingredients in the fridge.
She always strives for perfection, has an eye for detail, and she doesn’t rest until she has delivered a brilliant job. Sometimes that can push your buttons, especially when you are the “Okay! Done! Let’s go!-type of person, but ultimately you feel blessed to have a friend who complements you and brings details to your attention.
When you’re with her she wraps you up in a cloud of college-days, back when car rides were fun, smoking an occasional cigarette felt like freedom, and enjoying music meant going to live concerts.
She is an awesome mom, with two very adorable kids!
When she studies something she does it with all her heart and very thoroughly. I can totally picture her doing her own stylish blog about her sustainable, healthy lifestyle in which she writes about what online shop she uses to buy her kids cute but also ethical clothes, what books she reads and recommends that could change your perspective on how we live our lives, how to keep fit as a working mom, and what her next sewing project is.
She thinks she could do better as a friend, if she only did more small gestures like she claims I do, or she used to do.
But what better gesture is there than to tell your friend with a simple voice recording that you think she’s great the way she is?
It’s so ironic that we can pour our love out on someone we care about but that we have so much trouble and a built-in resistance-mechanism that keeps us from seeing our own beauty, our own greatness and big loving heart.
one day though
There will be that period in all our lives in which every single one of us will be ready to embrace ourselves for EVERYTHING we are.
That moment when we don’t feel like a failure but like someone who has fought and achieved tons of things.
That time where we don’t compare ourselves with others and feed ourselves with disappointment but instead are able to focus on who we are and finally realize our accomplishments in our own lives and our own stories, not someone else’s.
That day when we don’t need a friend to tell us how awesome we are, but when we are our own friend and know deep down - despite how complicated, even difficult at times we can be - how fabulous we are.
on the right path
I’m not there yet. I still got a long way to go. I’m very hard on myself and not my best friend. But I’m definitely on the right path. I can feel it. This blog proves it. One day I’ll embrace all of me - my sensitive, difficult, challenging as well as my caring, loving, and courageous side.
In order to get where our heart longs to be – that inner voice you sometimes hear that tells you what’s right for you – it is our job to surround ourselves with positive vibes and with people (family as well as friends) who encourage and support us in being our best selves. We owe that to ourselves.
Thanks, my friend, for the voice-message. It made me smile, cry and laugh out loud.
In fact, I’d like to say THANK YOU to ALL my friends and family, who have been supportive, encouraging, caring, inspiring, even challenging, throughout the years with their small and big gestures and words. They all mean the world to me. You are all fabulous!!
If you think Walk With Me helps inspiring and encouraging people then please add your comments below (I finally changed the setting for that) or even share the blog with loved ones.